


Brave New World

by mickeydubs



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Gen, prepare yourself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 03:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mickeydubs/pseuds/mickeydubs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As much as she hated to admit it, Cosima had been getting lonely. After months hidden away in her little apartment by herself, Delphine seemed like the perfect science enthusiast type to take on as a new friend. But, of course, things are rarely as they seem. Cophine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Venturing Out

A spec of dust wandered lazily through the air, in and out of the single beam of sunlight that peeked through the still, dark curtains draped over the windows. Her eyes followed it without focus as her pen tapped lightly over a textbook she’d all but memorized. Her desk was littered with other such texts and papers filled with little notes and diagrams she’d drawn. 

Her peers recognized her as an overachiever, but the fact was that she simply loved the material. Cosima, for all of her nose-pierced, dreaklocked, San Francisco origination, was just captivated by science. From her 10th grade biology class on, she’d been overcome with her interest in the field. The idea that species could change in physical makeup over time to meet their needs based on the environment and its inhabitants was endlessly fascinating to her. Adaptation, genetics, evolution; she could talk about it, study it, absorb everything she could of it for days at a time.

This enthusiasm turned out to be a double-edged sword however, as it meant she was constantly ahead in classes and appeared to her classmates to be something of a teacher’s pet when she knew all of the answers before they’d been discussed in class. 

This summer she’d gotten an apartment just off the University of Minnesota campus, where she’d be starting classes the next day, but she had still yet to have any real social interaction. She’d spent the past two months in a new place full of strangers, and with all of the insanity that was Beth and Alison, she wasn’t in the mental space to get into any personal drama. 

When she’d first met the two women, and the term “clones” came up, Cosima had been invigorated with the prospect of scientific advancements profound enough to accomplish such a feat. 

But then came the complications. 

They came in touch with Katja, the German, and the realization that there was almost certainly someone keeping tabs on them, as Cosima knew she would do if she were in charge of an experiment of such caliber, dawned on them. It was rather jolting, terrifying, in fact, the sudden knowledge that anyone could be monitoring their lives.

So, for the last eight weeks, rather than go out and make friends or participate in any sort of social event, she’d holed up in her little two-room and appeased self-doubts with claims of “nesting”. She read five of the six textbooks she’d purchased for the classes that were to start the next day, and she’d still had enough time research as much as she could about her situation with Beth and Alison.

But, it was only human nature to seek companionship. Cosima was becoming more and more aware of how alone she was. 

She glanced back down at the book on her desk and used her pen to flip the cover shut. Leaning back in her chair, she looked around the darkness of her lonely apartment. There were clear signs of habitation. Her clothes, both clean and worn, littered the floor around her dresser. Her bed had clearly been slept in - the blankets were unkempt and one of the pillows hung halfway off the mattress. Two chinese take-out boxes sat on the coffee table, one with a pair of cheap wooden chopsticks still sticking out the top. What Alison would undoubtedly refer to as ‘drug paraphernalia’ was scattered among her notes and books on her desk. The whole living space had clearly not seen visitors in some time. 

She chewed her thumbnail and looked out the sliver of light that cracked through the wall of shadow created by the curtains in her window. She stood and pulled her hair out of her face as she crossed the room to pull back one of the curtains. It was a nice day outside. The sky was practically cloud-free, and there was finally that feeling of business that came with having students moved in for the school year.

“Screw it.” She grabbed a joint from her desk, slung her bag over her shoulder, and made her way out the door. 

***

The campus coffee shop nearest her apartment, though open all summer, was experiencing a newfound hustle-and-bustle as students were reappearing for the fall semester. 

Cosima examined the menu board as she took a place in line behind a girl with short blonde hair. Once she decided on a simple iced vanilla latté, she peered around the room; all of the people, gathered around the little round tables, chatting idly over cappuccinos, seemed to know each other. Cosima tried to suppress the miniscule frown that depressed her brow. Her solitude was self-imposed. She was alone for a reason. 

She broke from her distraction and realized that the line had moved only when the barista at the cash register called her forward to place her order. “Hey Glasses, you wanna stop holdin’ the line up?”

She shuffled toward the man waiting impatiently behind the counter, flustered, and consequently bumped the shoulder of the girl in front of her, who was just about to take her drink and go, knocking a notebook clear from her hands. 

“Shit, sorry,” she muttered as she bent to retrieve the fallen leather-bound book and noted that there was what appeared to be a complex polymer diagram sketched into it before she closed it and made to hand it back to its owner. She paused when she met the girl’s eyes. There was something about them that made her pause; something about them seemed familiar, or rather, they seemed to find her familiar. Cosima handed her the notebook and looked down to her feet. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” she heard as the blonde accepted the book, grabbed her drink, and headed in the direction of the door. There was a certain inflection in her voice. She was clearly not local.

Cosima placed her order hastily and took her drink outside. She couldn’t say why, but she felt a sudden, unrelenting urge to go after the girl. After searching the area for a couple of seconds, she crossed a bit of green to where the blonde was sitting on a bench, skimming through the notebook she’d so clumsily bumped from her hands. The girl wore gladiator sandals on her feet, and a pair of high waisted shorts with a simple, loose tank top. Her short but wavy hair fell just above her curved shoulders; the color reminded Cosima of honey in sunlight, which was weird, because usually to her, hair was just brown or blonde or red or whatever. There was something about this girl that had Cosima infinitely curious, but at the same time wary. 

As always, curiosity won over. 

She approached the girl slowly, careful not to stumble over her own feet again. She reached a wavering hand out to tap the girl on the shoulder. The blonde turned with a questioning but open expression, and her lips quirked up in a small smirk when she realized who it was trying to gain her attention. 

Cosima swallowed but greeted her with an easy, self-depreciating confidence. “Hi. I’m really sorry about before; I’m not usually that clumsy. I guess I was just a little distracted.”

The girl bobbed her head. “It’s not a problem. My notebook wasn’t hurt, so I won’t hold it against you.” She couldn’t be sure, but for a second, Cosima was sure she saw the girl wink.

They both chuckled softly. Cosima gestured to the mentioned notebook. “So, I couldn’t help but notice some of your notes. Are you in the science department here?”

The girl looked pleasantly surprised that she was able to interpret what was written. “Yes, actually. I’m getting my PhD, specializing in immunology.”

Cosima’s smile brightened. “Oh, wow. That’s really cool. I’m in evo devo, so...”

The girl seemed to draw a blank and then snapped her fingers as she made the connection. “Evolutionary developmental biology! That’s a very interesting field.” She trailed off for a moment, then shook her head and offered her hand. “I’m Delphine.”

Cosima let the woman’s accent wash over her. It was elegant and suited the blonde’s classy but casual demeanor. “Delphine.” The blonde cocked her head but grinned, and Cosima blinked embarrassedly. “Oh, right,” she accepted the outstretched hand, “I’m Cosima.”

“Cosima... That’s an unusual name,” Delphine said with a hint of intrigue. 

Her lips quirked as she said, “Well, I’m kind of an unusual girl. And I’m from San Fran, so,” she shrugged as she pulled the blunt from behind her ear and twirled it between her fingers.

Delphine bowed her head slightly as she let out a small chuckle. “I see.” She paused. “I like it. Unusual is good.” She tilted her head back slightly and allowed the sun to glance off of her face as her eyelids fluttered closed. 

Cosima took a breath, but before she could point to the bench and ask, Delphine said, “Would you like to sit with me?”

She slipped casually into the vacant seat with a contented sigh and a lazy sip of her latté. They sat, side by side, without saying anything for a while. Cosima observed the world around her. Sunlight gleamed in every direction. Occasional clouds wandered across the blue of the sky in white, insignificant wisps. The grass that covered the quad on which they sat was almost startlingly green, and many other students seemed to have had the same idea, as they spread out over the lawns with books and ipods, happy to spend the afternoon enjoying the sun before they were back to work the next day. 

After several moments of comfortable silence, Cosima glanced at her new acquaintance curiously out of the corner of her eye. “So, Delphine... Do you...?” She held the joint up to wordlessly finish the question.

Delphine cocked her head slightly and examined her with a hint of amusement. “Do I... smoke? Why, are you offering?”

Cosima shrugged one of her shoulders and twiddled the blunt in her hands. “I mean, it’s cool if you’re not into it. I know some people can be kind of uptight about this sort of thing.”

“Oh, no, it’s not so much that,” she shook her head, and her curls bounced around her shoulders lightly. She leaned in, close enough that Cosima could feel her cool breath on her cheek. “Can I tell you a secret?” Cosima ignored the goosebumps that rippled over her skin and nodded. Delphine’s voice dropped to a whisper, and she glanced around with a coy grin. “I have never tried marijuana before.”

Cosima released a hearty laugh. “So you’re a weed virgin, huh?” Delphine hid a slight blush behind her coffee cup as she took a long drink. Cosima licked her lips. Everything about this girl was just so... endearing. With a chuckle, she said, “If you want, I could, y’know, take you through it. You can come back to my place if you want, make sure you don’t make a fool of yourself in front of the general public.”

Delphine smiled shyly, but her eyes were wide and sincere. “You would do that? I wouldn’t want to impose. We’ve only just met, I couldn’t ask you to do all this for me.” She bit her lip, and suddenly Cosima had to force herself to take deep breaths. 

She waved her off. “Yeah, I’ve been bored anyway. It’ll be fun; I can be your pot guru.” They both laughed at that. “I’ve been a little on the short end as far as a social life goes, so it would really be my pleasure. And honestly, I can’t think of a better way to get to know someone.”

“Is that so?” Delphine giggled as she spoke, and it only served to make her accent that much more prominent to Cosima. She took a large gulp of her latté.

“Oh yeah. I’m going to get you so baked,” she muttered with a little giggle. 

Delphine’s eyes twinkled. She plucked the little white stick from Cosima’s fingers and stuck it between her lips. “Okay.”


	2. The High Road

Cosima jiggled the key in the lock of her apartment door until she heard that telltale click. She swung it open and, with a grand gesture and a silly grin, motioned for her new companion to enter. She held the door as the blonde shuffled past her and inside the humble tenement.

She followed her in, kicked the door shut behind her with her foot, and watched curiously as Delphine looked around and took in the inside of her home. As the blonde’s eyes wandered, Cosima became very aware of the dirty laundry that covered the floor around her bed, the smell of her leftover Chinese that hung thickly in the air, the wallpaper that she hadn’t realized until then looked like something you’d find in your grandmother’s bedroom, the creak of that one floorboard near the coffee table, and the drone of the fan that blew warm air into the room from the window. It wasn’t at all suitable for guests. She could have kicked herself for the mess that she’d let her apartment become. She bit her lip self-consciously, knowing that Delphine was probably kicking herself too, for agreeing to come back with her to this shithole she called a living space. 

She wrung her hands and moved farther into the living room. “Sorry about the state of things in here; I haven’t really had any company since I moved in. I’ve kind of gotten in the habit of throwing things all over the place,” she apologized as she attempted to inconspicuously pick up some of the clutter. She held various items and garments behind her back and dropped them, notebooks and socks alike, into the hamper in the corner of the room.

She straightened hurriedly and tried to appear as if she hadn’t just dumped an armful of her random things into the dirty laundry bin when Delphine turned back to her from the spot she’d wandered nonchalantly to as she’d visually explored the flat and hummed, “No, I love it. Your place, it’s very... _intime_...” She waved her hands around a bit to indicate that she was looking for the right word. “It’s... homey.” She moseyed a couple of steps further and leaned against the curtained archway that led to Cosima’s bedroom. “Most scientists I know are so obsessed with organization. Their homes are even more squared away and sterile than their laboratories.” She chuckled lightly to show that she was mostly joking; Cosima was momentarily distracted by the dimples that appeared on her face. 

After a few seconds, she shook herself out of it and made her way into the kitchen area. “So, can I get you something to drink?” She opened the little fridge and leaned down to examine its contents. “I’ve got water, apple juice...” She checked her watch. “Actually, you know what, it’s past five o’clock,” she pulled her head back out of the refrigerator, rested her elbow on the open door, and pointed over Delphine’s shoulder, “if you’re up for it, there’s a bottle of wine on that shelf over there.”

Delphine smirked goofily. “So now you’re going to get me drunk as well as stoned? Is this some kind of plot to make me all uninhibited and take advantage of me?” 

Cosima felt her cheeks flush with heat and turned around again. She reached up to open a cabinet. “Who, me? I’m as innocent as they come.” She grabbed a couple of glasses and held them up with a raise of her eyebrow. “So. What are we having?”

***

The bottle of wine sat on the desk, now only a third full and entirely forgotten by the girls who’d opened it. The glasses sat on the nightstand, similarly drained of the majority of their contents. 

Cosima and Delphine lay side-by-side on top of the blankets that covered the bed. Their shoulders just touched, and their feet hung off of opposite sides of the mattress. Cosima brought the joint they’d been sharing to her lips and sucked in a lungful before she passed it back to Delphine. She held the smoke in her lungs for as long as she could, then let it out in a smooth stream of grey. 

Beside her, she heard Delphine take a long hit, and she turned on her side to see her let the smoke out in a long, gentle exhalation. For someone who’d never tried it before, the way in which Delphine smoked was almost eloquent in its nature. Her face was calm, and her lips parted just so as she released the smoke that she’d taken into her body. Her chest rose and fell steadily as she breathed deeply. It was practically poetic, the way her fingers held the stick of neatly rolled pot, the manner in which the joint met her lips and she pulled the chemically charged air into her throat. Her eyes had become hooded, though she was clearly still aware. Her lips had what seemed to be a chronic lift in their corners. The twinkle in her eye hadn’t extinguished in the least. If anything, it had grown. 

“So, Cos-Cosime-Cosima... How do... how do you know if it... how do you know if you’re gotten high?” She fell into a fit of giggles as she struggled to get the words out and rolled over onto her side and into Cosima’s chest. 

Cosima joined in her laughter and muttered, “I think when you start saying _you’re_ instead of _you’ve_ and everything seems as funny as it does right now.”

Delphine chuckled a bit harder and buried her face in Cosima’s shoulder. “Is that, did I say that? Whoops!” she continued giggling and did a loopy hand motion to go with her exclamation. She smacked her lips a bit and Cosima could feel it vaguely as a tiny frown scrunched Delphine’s forehead. “I am very thirsty all of a sudden.” She lifted her head again, eyes wide and rimmed with red. “I think there still is wine left.” She made to get up and get the bottle, but when she got to the edge of the bed, she lost her balance and tumbled over onto the floor. 

Cosima bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing at the sight of Delphine trying to pick herself up from the floor without using the sheets hanging off the bed as leverage and consequently toppling back over. Eventually she stood and rounded the bed to help her up and sat her back on top of the bed. “Woo, okay, I don’t think you need anymore wine after that display. How about some water?”

A confused expression played over her features. “ _Pourquoi_ \- I mean... Why do you say that?”

Cosima bit back another chuckle. “Because, Delphine, you’re getting a little sloppy.”

The blonde closed her eyes and laid back down with her arms over her head. After a moment without moving, in which Cosima thought she might have fallen asleep, she sat back up, grabbed Cosima’s by the elbow, and pulled her down with her as she flopped once again onto her back. “Mmm, come back and lay with me.” She muttered something else after that, but it was too quiet and slurred to make out. Cosima was also slightly distracted by the fact that Delphine’s lips were close enough to her face that she could feel wisps of her breath in her ear. 

Cosima cleared her throat with some effort. “Uh, you know, I think this might verge on that whole ‘taking advantage’ thing we were talking about earlier.”

The scrunch in her forehead returned. “ _Non, non_ , it’s okay. I just... _Je me sens_... I feel as if I am dreaming.”

Cosima rolled her eyes amusedly. “Well, that is flattering. And... oddly romantic.”

Delphine started giggling again. “It’s probably just my accent. _Français_ is one of the romance languages, _oui_? So everything I say has that inflection because of that, is my theory. My hypothesis.”

Cosima nodded along. “I see. So what made you decide to jump the lake? To be honest, I think North America is pretty boring. I think I’d like to travel once I’ve got my degree.”

“Oh, I came for the same reason everyone comes. The _opportunités._ France is a wonderful place, and I do miss it quite often, but there are just so many things here that you could never find there.”

“Yeah, like what?”

Delphine stared at her for a few seconds. “I just thought something, but it even sounded _bête_ in my head.”

“ _Bête_?”

Delphine searched for the word for a moment. “Yes, um... it’s like, foolish. Silly.”

“What, tell me. Come on, I promise I won’t laugh or anything.”

“Alright, _ça va_. And this may just be the marijuana clouding my brain, but... I was going to say, even though we’ve just met, I don’t think there’s a single person like you that I’ve met in France.” Cosima felt a particularly large butterfly jump from her stomach into her chest. She opened her mouth to reply when Delphine continued, “I’m very happy to have met you. It’s nice to make a friend in the brave new world.” 

Cosima was momentarily reduced to the likes of a teenage girl of the early 2000’s. “Yeah, ditto. Obvs.” Once again, she mentally kicked her own rear.

She turned more fully onto her side and leaned on her elbow. Her eyes met Delphine’s, and for a moment, her breath caught in her throat. Delphine’s pupils had dilated from the weed she’d smoked, but the undeniable hazel of her irises remained unobscured. They were every shade of green and brown and gold all at once, and Cosima felt as if she could have drowned in them, happily.

Cosima licked her lips unconsciously. “You know, there’s this, um, there’s this psychology thing that I’m just remembering about when two people’s faces are, you know, too close to just be talking.”

“Oh, I see.” She said. She made no move to back away. “You know,” Delphine leaned forward conspiratorially and whispered, “I’ve never kissed a girl before.”

Cosima didn’t move either. “Okay, clarifying question, because I know you’re like, super high right now: are you telling me this as a random observational non sequitur or are you saying it because you want me to kiss you?” 

Delphine blinked rapidly and bobbed her head without opening her mouth to speak. Their eyes were locked. Electricity hummed between them. Cosima was frozen in place, afraid to move. It felt as if the moment were made of glass, and the slightest shift might shatter it, and the buzz in her fingertips along with it. 

Then Delphine bit her lip.

Their lips were attached before she knew what she was doing. She must have lurched over the bed, because suddenly she was lying half on top of Delphine, who had become rather out of breath beneath her. Their lips tangled urgently. Delphine’s hands grasped at the back of her neck. Cosima’s fingers buried themselves in the folds of Delphine’s shirt. Her heart raced to the point where it felt more like a hummingbird in her chest. She kissed Delphine hard and without thought. She worried briefly that her lips might bruise, but it wasn’t enough to stop her from continuing. She nipped lightly at Delphine’s bottom lip and smirked at the quiet hiss it elicited from her. She traced her tongue along the edge of Delphine’s lip until it parted from the other and she slipped it inside. It met Delphine’s in a forceful, delicious collision. 

It wasn’t until Delphine snuck her hands under her shirt that Cosima realized what she was doing and disentangled herself from the knot she’d been weaving of herself and the girl still trapped under her body. 

She rolled off of Delphine with as much grace as she could muster and stood hastily from the bed. This was certainly a compromising position in which to find herself. 

“Shit. I’m so sorry about that, Delphine, I don’t know what just came over me. The pot and the wine must have gone to my head or something.”

Delphine sat up on her knees on the bed and watched as Cosima began to pace nervously. “Cosima. You are getting worked up over nothing.”

“Nothing? No, I just completely took advantage of you. You just wanted to hang out and try weed, and I went and jumped on you like a sexually frustrated teenager!”

“Hey!” Delphine actually snapped her fingers to get Cosima to stop in her stride and look at her. “It is okay. I was the instigator here. Please stop fidgeting; I am not upset with you.”

Cosima looked down at her hands and then back up to Delphine’s face, which was silently pleading with her to take a breath. “Are you sure?”

Delphine sighed a little grin, relieved. “ _Oui, ma chérie._ I am sure.”

Cosima visibly relaxed and sat beside Delphine on the bed. She folded her hands in her lap. “Because you know we can totally chalk this all up to the drugs if you want-”

She was cut off by Delphine’s burst of animated laughter. The blonde fell backward onto the bed, and Cosima ran out of words to say on the matter.


	3. Hot Wings

Clouds drifted across the sky, little more than cotton balls tossed on a lazy river. Cosima tilted her head back with closed eyes and felt warm early-evening sun caress her face. A little smile played over her lips. She couldn’t help it. She was just... happy. 

It wasn’t a feeling she’d been particularly accustomed to since she’d come to Minnesota. 

She’d gotten used to being alone - to being lonely - and she’d accepted the fact that her experimental clone status made her a target, and that meant that she needed to watch her back. She’d gotten used to a quiet life by herself, grown accustomed to nights alone in her little apartment with some pot and the internet. It was a quiet life. It was a life that left her feeling rather unfulfilled. It was only human nature to crave attention and affection from other people. 

So there she was, walking through campus, on her way to meet Delphine and grinning at the air like some giddy fool. And she loved it. 

Things were finally going her way. She’d started to make noticeable progress on her thesis research in the lab, the students in the class she TA’d looked at her as if she were some kind of god, and she’d said ‘screw it’ to the idea of self-induced isolation. She and Delphine were officially a couple. She hadn’t shied away from the relationship - or her feelings - as good sense and logic, not to mention the other clones, would have told her to. 

She knew that any one of the people around her could be a danger. Any of her classmates or professors could have been tracking her that very moment, plotting her demise or reporting to a superior scientist on her health and activities. 

But Delphine... Delphine was genuine. She honest and curious, and the way she smiled at her, Cosima knew that there was no deception behind it. She could feel it. It was a knowledge beyond scientific explanation. Delphine was just a girl whose heart was drawn to her own. 

Since the day they had met, they’d been near inseparable. That day had essentially become their first date, when the munchies overcame them and they walked to the diner down the street to get dinner together. By the time they’d gotten themselves out of the apartment and to the restaurant, it was late into the night. They both ordered milkshakes and french fries, and when they finished those, cups of coffee. They’d talked for hours, mostly about science, but also about books and television and culture. When Cosima walked Delphine home, time had brought them into the early hours of the morning. They paused at the door to the apartment complex, and Delphine told Cosima that if she were to kiss her again, she wouldn’t stop her. Cosima hesitated, then, so Delphine took the initiative. 

Almost every day after that for three weeks they took turns going to each other’s apartments. They ordered in or brought food to share. (They tried cooking together once. The food on the stove was forgotten and burned into lumps of black when they became distracted by each other’s lips.) They sprawled beside each other on the sofa or on the floor or on the bed, and they had talked endlessly about everything that they could think of. 

Given her situation, it was more than Cosima dared ask for.

The sun sank lower in the sky. Cosima got back to her apartment and shed her coat as she entered. Delphine was sure to be there any minute. Cosima couldn’t wait. 

LIke clockwork, there was a knock at the door just as Cosima pulled a bottle of wine out and set it on the counter. She reached for a pair of glasses in the cabinet over the sink as she called over her shoulder, “It’s open!”

She heard the door open and close, followed by the sound of a jacket being tossed over one of the stools off to the side of the room. A pair of arms slid around her waist from behind, and a pair of lips met her ear with a soft, shiver-inducing whisper. “ _Bonsoir, ma cherie_.” 

Cosima closed her eyes and leaned back into the embrace. She turned her head and shifted to one side to see Delphine’s eyes shining as the blonde smiled down at her. She reached an arm up around her neck and stood up on her toes to plant a kiss on Delphine’s lips. “Mm, good evening to you, too.” She turned to face her fully, and they stood with their slung around each other. “So. Dinner. I was thinking we could have some hot wings delivered from that place a couple blocks over?” 

Delphine adopted a sly smirk as she bowed her head to Cosima’s and husked, “Works for me. I like anything, if it’s hot enough.”

Cosima felt desire begin to churn low in her gut. Her voice came out short and breathy. “Well, that’s good, ‘cause I already called in the order, so... we have some time to kill.” 

Delphine lifted an eyebrow. Her fingers skirted around Cosima’s waist and slipped just under the hem of her shirt. Her eyes smoldered. Her fingertips tingled. With a smirk, Delphine backed Cosima slowly into the counter behind her and trapped her there with her hips. Cosima felt a little light headed. 

Cosima let her hands get lost in Delphine’s aureate locks of hair and brought their lips together in a heated but gentle kiss. She worked her lips over Delphine’s, capturing that slightly protruded bottom lip, then the top, then the bottom again. Her eyes fell closed, and she screwed her eyelids more tightly shut as passion grew rapidly inside her. If she were to spend the rest of her life just kissing Delphine, she was sure it would have gone down as the greatest life anyone had ever lived. A tongue traced over the pout in her lip, and her mouth fell open to let it in. It slid over hers, smooth and graceful. She wrapped her arms around the blonde’s neck to bring their bodies closer, always closer. She could never get enough.

Her nerves hummed with the proximity. Her whole body buzzed. She could feel a strong, steady pulse radiating from her core. 

She felt her own legs begin walking them in the direction of the bed. She kept their mouths connected. She wanted to tangle their lips into a knot and never untie it. 

Her heart raced in her chest. Delphine’s skin burned against her own. It was the best kind of heat. She wanted more of it.

Delphine’s cool breath ghosted past the gates of Cosima’s teeth. Her hands snaked along Cosima’s spine. A whimper escaped her throat when Cosima lightly sank her teeth into it. Cosima latched her lips onto the divot where Delphine’s neck met her shoulder and sucked. 

Delphine’s eyes rolled back in her head. “ _Baise-moi._ ” 

Cosima smiled against her skin. She understood enough of the romance language to know what that meant. “That’s the idea.” 

The backs of Delphine’s knees hit the bed, and her legs folded against it. Without hesitation, Cosima crawled on top of her and straddled her hips. Her mouth found Delphine’s again and she inhaled sharply as the blonde’s fingernails dug into her thighs. There were sure to be ten little crescent moon welts left on her flesh there. Her head fell back in pleasure when Delphine’s teeth introduced themselves enthusiastically to her collarbone. And then her chest. Then the valley between her breasts. They scraped deliciously over her skin, trails pink left in their wake. Delphine trailed the tip of her nose along the skin just over Cosima’s hammering heart. Her breath left trails of goosebumps. Cosima could feel the heat of her desire growing between her legs. 

She pulled away quickly to yank her shirt over her head. Delphine took the opportunity to appreciate her girlfriend’s physique before following suit. She reached out and splayed her hands over Cosima’s toned stomach. Cosima felt her muscles contract instinctually at the touch. Her breath hitched as Delphine’s hands began to travel north, ever so slowly. Agonizingly slowly. 

She grabbed Delphine’s hands and forced them up. She hissed when Delphine’s mouth enveloped her earlobe. She could hear the subdued chuckle in the blonde’s grin on her neck. 

She sat up on her knees to let Delphine slide herself back further onto the bed. Her eyes shone with mirth as she lowered herself onto all fours and stalked like a cat over the sheets to hover over her lover’s body. She smirked as she snapped the button of Delphine’s jeans open. 

“So, is this hot enough for you?”

***

Cosima lay sideways across the bed with her ankles crossed atop Delphine’s knees. An open to-go container filled with buffalo wings sat between them. The sun had dropped below the horizon, and the apartment was dim. 

Delphine, with a twinkle in her eye, leaned over on one elbow and swiped a thumb over Cosima’s mouth with her free hand. When she raised an eyebrow, Delphine’s cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. Delphine shrugged. “You had ranch dressing on your face.”

Cosima grinned as she reached for the container of ranch. She sat up, dipped a finger into the sauce, and tapped Delphine on the nose, leaving a little white dot right on the tip. With fake surprise, she exclaimed, “Oh no, it looks like you’ve got some ranch on your face, too.”

Delphine widened her eyes in mock offendedness. As she struggled to suppress the smile that was fighting for it’s place among her features, she snagged the dressing out of Cosima’s hand and wiped a trail along her cheek. “ _Mon dieux_ , Cosima. You should really be more careful when you’re eating. You have this dressing all over yourself.”

Cosima, with a short laugh, tried to splash what was left of the dressing at Delphine, but it’s thick consistency meant that it covered Delphine’s mouth and chin in a great gooey glob. Delphine, by then smiling like a fool, was silent for a moment before she muttered, “I can’t believe you just did that.”

Before Cosima knew what was happening, Delphine had launched herself on top of her and was kissing all over her face, effectively spreading the ranch over as much of Cosima’s head as her own. 

After several minutes, during which they giggled immensely and licked the dressing off of each other’s faces, Delphine and Cosima settled beside each other. They both propped their heads up on elbows and laid on their sides. Their feet nestled overlapped with each other and Cosima traced her fingertips over the curve of Delphine’s shoulder. 

Delphine bit her lip as she watched Cosima’s eyelids grow heavy. Her voice was wispy as she murmured, “Hey.”

Cosima’s espresso eyes flicked to hers in question. “Hm?”

“Cosima,” she hesitated. “I...” She could feel the words forming on her tongue. She could feel them preparing to wander out of her mouth. But she knew that once they were released, they were out there for good. It was too early for those words. As true as they may have been. She shoved them down. “I’m just really happy.”

Cosima smiled, and her eyes were the warmest she’d ever seen. 

“Me too.”

***

Cosima walked her familiar route across the campus quad. The sunlight made her squint a bit, but it was another beautiful day, and Cosima was glad for the persistence of the good weather. She walked with a smile on her face. She walked as if the world were a wonderful place, because to her, at the moment, it was. 

She reached Delphine’s apartment and knocked twice on the door before twisting the knob and striding in. She’d learned by then that Delphine very rarely locked her front door, despite the safety hazards Cosima warned her about. 

She dropped her things by the door and hung her jacket on a hook just inside. Delphine’s place was small, but dignified. The furniture was modern, but the little knick knacks and photos scattered around gave it a homey vibe. The kitchen was well endowed, and the open floor plan centered around a humble sitting room. It was a home that suited its owner. 

Delphine met Cosima as she entered the flat as she always did, but this time rather than greeting her with a glass of wine, she held up a bottle of champagne. Cosima took in the image before her of Delphine beaming excitedly and practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Cosima’s eyebrows lifted in amusement. “What’s with the eager beaver? And the,” she took the bottle from Delphine and glanced at it, “very expensive bubbly?”

Delphine stepped into her and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. When she backed away, the wide-eyed grin was still firmly in place. She stated simply, “We’re celebrating.”

Delphine glided into the kitchen and retrieved a pair of tall glasses for the champagne. Cosima regarded her curiously. She could have sworn she heard Delphine humming, though she couldn’t be sure. When the blonde returned and handed her one of the glasses, Cosima accepted it and posed the question that she could tell Delphine was just waiting for her to ask. “And... what is it that we’re celebrating, exactly?”

Delphine poured champagne for both of them, clinked her glass with Cosima’s, and downed the contents before she answered. “I met a man today.”

She poured herself another glass, and Cosima nodded, trying to telepathically pull the words from her girlfriend’s mouth. “Yeah, babe, I’m going to need a little more than that.”

Delphine smirked. “He is a scientist man. He was the guest lecturer in the class I TA today, and I was able to speak to him after.” Cosima nodded for her to continue. “He told me about his work - he studies different species and diseases that threaten them. When I told him that I was studying immunology, he told me that he’s putting together a research team.”

As Cosima caught on to the train that the line of conversation was following, her face brightened with pride and exhilaration for Delphine. “Wait, so, he offered you a job?”

Delphine nodded, and her hair bounced wildly. “Yes! He asked me all about my research and where I have studied; he seemed to know a lot about the programs I was in during my undergraduate years. But, long story short, he asked me if I wanted a position on his team of researchers who would be involved in developing new vaccines and studying the effects of illness on rare breeds. It is like a dream, Cosima!” She rushed in for another kiss, enthrallment ever so evident in her face. 

Cosima beamed at Delphine, second-hand adrenaline coursing through her body. “That’s amazing, Delphine! I’m so happy for you.”

Delphine shook her head, as if she couldn’t believe that what she was experiencing was real. 

“Just wait until you meet him, Cosima. He’s a brilliant man. I know you’ll just love Dr. Leekie.”


	4. Stains

Cosima was happy for Delphine. She was proud of her, she really was. Getting a job with a research team was a huge opportunity at this stage in her education. It was a big step toward the career she’d been working toward her entire adult life. It was a circumstance that deserved praise and congratulations and support.

But it turned out that it was also work that kept Delphine at ridiculous hours, and Cosima didn’t get to see her as often as she’d like - a circumstance that made Cosima slightly less enthusiastic about the whole thing.

Cosima sat at what had become her regular table in the coffee shop where she’d first met her girlfriend. With Delphine getting in so late from the training her job apparently required, Cosima had found herself facing a lot of alone time, so she chose to spend it people-watching in the little campus café, where she could at least pretend to have a social life outside of Delphine.

She curled her fingers around a steaming mug of cinnamon latté. The changing colors and cool winds of autumn had her craving something hot and comfortable, to heat her from the inside out. Though perhaps it had less to do with the new chill in the atmosphere and more to do with the absence of the girl who she’d become accustomed to keeping her warm. She sat still in her little booth in the corner of the shop, virtually lifeless as the rest of the world passed complacently by. 

She tried to remind herself over again how important it was for Delphine to be committed to this new position. Her work was important. She was doing cutting-edge research. It wasn’t her fault that she was kept so long every day. It was only to be expected that she would be put to work at the times no one else wanted to be, since she was only a grad student. 

But Cosima hadn’t so much as seen her girlfriend in a week. She missed her.

With a sigh, she took a long sip from her drink and slumped down into her seat. A drop of her latté trailed a winding stain down the side of her mug. She traced it delicately with the tip of her finger. A grimy residue collected on her fingertip as it followed the brown streak down the dull white ceramic.

Faces around her chatted animatedly. Some gestured enthusiastically with their hands. Some nodded seriously in agreement. Some threw their heads back in uncontrollable laughter. She watched them blankly for some time. She took notice of the color in their cheeks, the twinkle in their eyes. They had their people with them. They were living. 

Cosima closed her eyes and shook her head at herself. 

She was living, too, wasn’t she? She blinked and breathed and ate and drank and moved just like everyone. She was as real and alive as anyone else. 

She was just lonely. Again.

Cosima downed what remained of her latté and stood from the table.

***

When she got back to her apartment, she immediately dropped her bag on the coffee table and strode into the kitchen.

She made herself a cup of coffee, black. She knew all the caffeine she was consuming was likely to make her jittery, but in the moment, it comforted her. It was hot and smooth, and it was almost half as good as what she was missing. She carried it by the handle through her dark living room to her desk; she cursed softly when she stubbed her toe on the couch in the process. She stuck the side of her finger into her mouth and sucked where a few hot drops spilt over the side of her mug and burned her skin. 

Cosima placed the cup carefully on her desk and dropped into the chair behind it heavily. She used her thumb to lift the top of her laptop and power it on. For a moment she just looked at her desktop background; it was a series of pictures of Delphine blowing a kiss. The slightest smile emerged on her lips at the sight of it.

She clicked to open her video chat program. Her grin grew when she saw the brightly smiling icon of her soccer-mom-self aglow, signaling that Alison was online. Her mouse hovered over the little picture. Fractions of the faces of Alison’s family covered the edges. Cosima thought for a moment how her own family would react if they found out what she was. 

She jumped when her computer chirped with a ring resembling that of an old-fashioned telephone. Alison, it seemed, read her mind and took the initiative to call her.

She sat up in her chair, cleared her throat, and clicked the button that read _answer_. 

“Alison, hey-”

“Cosima Niehaus! Just where the hell have you been? We haven’t seen or heard from you in weeks!” Alison huffed and aggressively straightened her bangs. 

Cosima breathed a chuckle. “It’s good to see you too, Alison.”

“Is it? Is it good to see me?” Alison’s eyes were wide, strained. Her eyebrows had disappeared into her hair. “Given all the time since I last heard from you it’s a wonder you even remember what I look like.”

“She’s your clone, Alison, she’s not going to forget what you look like. All she has to do is look in the mirror,” deadpanned a voice offscreen on Alison’s end. 

Alison scowled into the distance. “Yes, Beth and Sarah are also here.”

Cosima’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Okay… And Sarah is…?”

Alison’s lips stretched into a falsely sweet smile. “Oh yes, that’s right. You don’t know who Sarah is because you’ve been MIA for the past three weeks and haven’t been around to find out that we’ve been found by another clone. Whoops. So sorry to leave you out of the loop.”

An arm reached across the screen and handed Alison a glass of wine. It was then joined by a body as Beth nudged Alison to scoot over and sat beside her. “Give her a break, Al, she’s been off honeymooning with the new girl. Right, Cos?” Beth winked at her through the computer.

Cosima felt her face flush. “Yeah, well-”

“Oi, who are we all talking to?” Another face joined the two on Cosima’s screen. 

Cosima supposed she should have been accustomed to seeing women with faces identical to hers by then. Yet when a third twin appeared by Beth and Alison’s side, she was momentarily taken aback. Seeing the three of them lined up before her, knowing that their faces were all but interchangeable with her own, was still something of a shock to the system. 

Cosima raised a hand in greeting. “You’d be Sarah, then. Hi. I’m Cosima.”

She watched as Sarah looked her over, as much as the limited view of the computer would allow. As she did, Cosima took in what she could of this newcomer as well. Sarah was clearly hard around the edges. At least, she was trying to be. Her default expression was one of scrutiny, of distrust for anyone she didn’t know. Her hair, braided in part, was wild where it was loose. Her accent was thick and hard. She held every aspect of a punk from the streets, and yet Cosima couldn’t help but feel an urge to trust her. 

Sarah nodded. “So you’re the scientist. Right.”

Cosima breathed a laugh. “Charming.”

Sarah brought a glass of brown liquid to her lips. “So, what’s this I hear about a girlfriend?”

Cosima cocked her head to the side slightly. “You certainly don’t beat around the bush. You haven’t even asked about the weather yet.”

Sarah smirked and gulped down the rest of her drink. “Yeah, I’m funny like that. Especially when I’m meeting… What did you call them?” She turned to crinkle her forehead at Beth before she snapped her fingers and bobbed her head. “Right, my _genetic identicals_. You understand if I’m a bit on edge.” Cosima had to nod at that. Sarah’s smirk morphed into an outright grin before she gave Cosima an expectant look. “So? Let’s hear about the girl! I’ve been alone long enough, maybe hearing about another version of myself getting some will be half as good,” she said with hooded eyes as she poured herself another drink.

“Um-”

“Please, spare us the details,” Alison interjected. “I only called to make sure you’re still alive. Having done that, I’m happy to let you go.”

Beth turned to Alison and patted her on the shoulder with joking patronization. “Aw, Ali, I know things have lost their heat with Donnie in the bedroom, but there’s no need to be jealous of Cosima.” Alison shot her a fiery glare. Beth just looked loftily around and pinched Alison’s cheek playfully. “Don’t worry though. I know I’m still your favorite, babe.” She planted a big, sloppy kiss on Alison’s cheek, which Alison immediately went about wiping off.

Cosima laughed heartily at their antics. They may have been strange and dysfunctional, but they’d become her friends, and the sight of them fooling around with each other in good nature was a welcome one.

Sarah let out a rather booming laugh as well. Alison’s eyes grew comically wide, and she shushed her British counterpart emphatically. She hissed at her, “Be quiet, my kids are asleep upstairs.”

Beth, still chortling merrily, slung her arm around Alison’s shoulder and spoke over her. “Calm down, Al. She’s not going to wake up your kids and tell them what a freak you are.” When Alison’s expression inevitably became one of affront, she added, “Oh, shut up, you know I like your freakiness.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Would you two just get married already?” She looked down as some of her drink dribbled over the side of her glass and dropped into a circular stain on her shirt.

Beth looked at her with feigned earnesty. “You know, I keep asking this one to run away with me, but she keeps playing hard to get.”

Alison crossed her arms over her chest and twisted her face into a frown. “You all know that I am happily married, thank you very much.” She looked up to find the same skeptical look in both Beth and Cosima’s eyes. She amended her statement. “It’s true! Happiness notwithstanding. I am married. And you,” she turned to face Beth more fully, “have a boyfriend. How is Paul, by the way?”

Beth’s smug grin melted off of her face. Her eyes locked on Alison’s, she set her wine glass down and smacked her lips. “As a matter of fact, he’ll be wondering where I am.” She stood, stopping only to lean down and mutter a goodbye to Cosima.

Sarah got up as well. “Yeah, I should go too.” She was a bit unsteady on her feet, but she managed a grunt of thanks and a wave toward the screen as she stumbled toward the door. 

Cosima watched her go with concern. “She’s not driving, is she?”

Alison rubbed her face, paused for a moment, then shook her head. “No, no, her brother’s waiting for her outside. He’ll make sure she’s okay.”

Cosima nodded. She bit her lip. “Alison… is there anyone making sure _you’re_ okay?”

Alison dropped her gaze before she said with a serious tilt of her head, “I could ask you the same thing.”

***

Cosima woke to the sound of a gentle but rapid knock on her door. She jerked into an upright position in her desk chair and rubbed roughly at her eyes.

The knocking persisted, so Cosima stood and padded across the carpet to the door. With a yawn, she unlatched it and pulled it open.

Delphine stood just beyond the threshold. Their eyes met and the blonde’s voice fell out breathily. “Cosima.”

Cosima licked her lips. After a moment, she stepped to the side with an understated sweep of her arm. “Come in.”

Delphine closed the door behind her and stepped into her girlfriend. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to see you the past few days. I missed you.”

Cosima brought her arms up around Delphine’s neck and pressed their lips together.

The mug of coffee sat, still where she’d left it and forgotten it, by then cold and stale. Stains once again wound their way down the side. Twin curving lines forged paths across the smooth ceramic. They came together where the base of the mug met the dark wooden surface of her desk.


	5. What is the Road to Hell Paved With?

Cosima rolled her head over on the pillow to sneak a glance at the girl who occupied the other side of the bed. Moonlight poked its way through the window and cast a muted illumination over her bedroom.

Delphine slept soundly beside her, one leg flung over both of Cosima’s. Her breathing was soft and even.

Cosima inhaled thickly; Delphine’s mild, sweet scent filled her nose. It was comforting to have the smell of her girlfriend’s hair on her pillow again. 

Cosima’s lips spread into a smile as her girl’s brow scrunched slightly and Delphine rolled over so that she was lying half on top of her. This brought Delphine’s face just centimeters from her own. Cosima closed her eyes and shrugged herself further under the covers and into the embrace. She slipped her arm over Delphine’s hip and around her back. Her fingertips traced over the ridge of Delphine’s shoulder blade. Her creamy skin was warm and smooth. Cosima leaned forward and gently kissed a freckle that stood out on Delphine’s cheek. Her skin was alive as every nerve registered Delphine’s proximity and memories of the things that transpired when Delphine pulled her into her arms and their lips were reunited spun through her mind. 

*** 

_Immediately upon entering the apartment, Delphine had shed her coat and left it to sag and rumple on the floor. Cosima’s hands found Delphine’s hair and tugged lightly._

_Delphine grabbed her face in both of her hands and brought it forcefully to her own. Cosima’s heart flurried in her chest. She was a whirlwind. Delphine’s arrival was unexpected, and the vigor with which she kissed Cosima was more than enough to steal her breath._

_She had spent so much of the time she’d been alone wallowing in the emptiness. Normally she didn’t mind being on her own; in fact, she preferred it a good deal of the time, but since she met Delphine, any nights she slept alone were ones she woke up cold._  

_She’d never trusted anyone the way she did Delphine. Every day she spent with Delphine, she gave more of herself. She split her chest and opened her heart to reveal its contents._

_She’d spent her life believing that when people described meeting people and feeling as if they’d known each other forever, they were just using hyperbole to effect a romantic overtone. She never thought that such intense and consuming feelings existed outside of the stories. They had always been fantastical myths to her. Yet the more she grew to adore Delphine, the more it felt that their lives had always been intertwined._

_Delphine was like a drug. When she had her, she felt better than she ever had._

_When she was gone, it was the hardest crash Cosima had ever known. The withdrawal was painful. There was an undeniable urge inside her; she had to have her fix of Delphine. Her heart grew to ache with every second they were apart._

_So when she returned, when Cosima was able to look into those eyes and feel the pressure of Delphine’s body against her own, it was like the sun had finally come out after a hurricane. The world was at peace again._

_As they met just inside the doorway, their kissing was frenzied. She couldn’t get enough. Cosima backed Delphine forcefully into the wall. A gasp escaped Delphine’s mouth before it was smothered by Cosima’s once again. Delphine’s eyes slammed shut._

_Both their hands grasped at clothes, hair, skin. Cosima’s fingers finally settled on the back Delphine’s neck, trying to pull her impossibly closer. She kissed harder. Their lips crashed together with vigor. Cosima’s skin grew hot, her face flushed, as Delphine’s hands snuck under the fabric of her shirt and her fingernails dug into the skin of her waist._

_She grabbed Delphine by the front of her shirt and dragged them both further into the room, stumbling backwards over herself. The backs of her legs rammed into her desk, and she threw an arm back to catch herself before she fell completely on top of it, breaking the cement that had seemed to glue their lips to each other._  

 _Delphine sucked in a large breath, and her eyes shot open. Both of their chests were heaving. Cosima immediately pushed herself off of the surface of her desk and back onto her feet to attack Delphine’s lips again, but Delphine’s brow furrowed. Her hands found Cosima’s shoulders and pushed lightly._  

_“Cosima-” she said through the kisses the brunette was still planting all over her mouth, “Cosima, wait-” Cosima’s hands were back in her hair, tugging at the strands. “I - oh - I can’t-”_

_Cosima’s eyes were screwed shut as she continued to place kiss after kiss on Delphine’s lips. “Please, Delphine.” She blindly felt for Delphine’s hands, and once she found them, guided them around her back. “I need you.” Her lips trailed a hot path down over Delphine’s jaw to her throat. Between every kiss, her voice carried on a mantra. “I need you. I need you.”_

_She kissed Delphine’s shoulder. “I need you.”_  

_She kissed the dip between her neck and her collarbone. “I need you.”_

_It didn’t take long for Delphine to give in. She ducked her head to capture Cosima’s lips again, and her hands pulled Cosima’s hips into her own._

_Cosima let out a small squeak when Delphine lifter her up and onto the desk and stepped quickly and assertively between her legs. Cosima hooked her knees around Delphine’s hips and linked her ankles. Delphine bit down on her bottom lip and smirked at the hiss it elicited from Cosima._

_Delphine bent her knees and slowly dragged her body up Cosima’s front. The friction stole a mewl from her lips. It stretched into a moan when her lips found Cosima’s earlobe and sucked. Cosima squeezed her thighs more tightly around Delphine’s waist._

_Her nails scraped up Delphine’s back as her own arched to bring her lips up toward the blonde’s ear. Her voice was slightly hoarse when she muttered, “take me to bed.”_

_Delphine paused, eyes wide. Her eyes were dark. She bit her lip and worried it between her teeth. Her longing was evident; so was a hint of hesitation._

_“Hey.” Cosima put a hand on either side of Delphine’s face and stroked her cheeks softly with her thumbs. “Baby, what is it?”_

_“I…” Delphine sighed and closed her eyes as Cosima’s fingers slipped onto her neck and played over the wispy hairs at the base of her skull. Her eyes remained closed as she gave a small grin. “Nothing.” She took Cosima’s hand. “Let’s go to bed.”_

_And go to bed, they did._

***

Daylight was just beginning to break outside, and her apartment was becoming slowly and quietly lit with a dim glow. Cosima rubbed her face with one hand and used the other to prop herself up. She stretched her arms over her head as she drifted back into awareness.

She paused for a moment, trying to remember what it was she’d been dreaming about. The details slipped away with each passing second, though she recalled vaguely images of machines and tubes and needles.

She found herself suddenly very glad to be awake.

Her gaze instinctively fell on Delphine, who was still asleep. Her face was perfectly blank and calm in unconsciousness. The warm sunlight gave the gold in her locks a certain shimmer as they splayed over her pillow.

A short, loud vibration sounded from the bedside table, and she was reminded of the reason she had awoken so abruptly in the first place. She reached over and grabbed her phone to view a text from Alison that read: “Cosima, I’m sorry I was short with you last night. I was unnecessarily rude, and I apologize. I do stand by my opinion that we’d all do well to err on the side of caution, but we all have lives to live. Speak soon. 

Cosima shook her head. It was just like Alison to send a perfectly polite and grammatically correct text message first thing in the morning. She supposed that was part of her charm.

With a yawn, she replaced the phone on her nightstand and laid back down to enjoy taking her time getting out of bed.

*** 

_Cosima sprawled across the mattress, Delphine half on top of her with the covers tossed about around them. Even through her exhaustion, she placed kisses along Delphine’s arm and shoulder as they both regained their strength._

_A small frown emerged on her face when she felt a warm dampness seeping into her skin where Delphine’s face rested. She peered down to see silent tears leaking from her eyes._

_With one finger, she gently lifted Delphine’s chin and sat herself up. “Are you okay?” Her hand trailed down Delphine’s arm to lace their fingers. The blonde nodded wordlessly for a few seconds before she gave a telltale sniff. She used her finger to dab a tear from her cheek. “Then why are you crying?” Her espresso eyes searched Delphine’s imploringly._

_Delphine took a long, stuttering breath. “Because I-” she stopped, closed her eyes, and shook her head at herself. “Just... you make me really happy.”_

***

Snowflakes floated lazily toward earth as Cosima walked a near-empty sidewalk on her way to class. The ground was blanketed in half-melted slush. A freezing wind cut straight through her layers, and she pulled her long, red jacket more tightly around herself as she blinked up at the dreary gray sky. When a shiver quaked its way through her body, she understood why the streets were so devoid of people; if she hadn’t had a class to be in, she would have chosen to stay warm inside as well.

She reached a hand into her pocket and pulled out her phone to take another look at the message Alison had sent her. It was a pleasant change of pace for Alison to admit that her behavior might have been less than stellar, let alone apologize. Cosima knew it was difficult, adjusting to the idea that there were any number of women out there somewhere who wore her face. Alison was handling it rather well, all things considered. She could tell some parts of Alison’s life seemed to be coming apart, and she found herself actually admiring the way Alison had been able to keep herself together.

A single car sped past her, tires rolling over the asphalt with a wet _tsst_ , and brought her back to the present just in time for her to remember to follow the turn into her usual shortcut. She shuffled down the thin alleyway that would take her out just a block from the lecture hall where she was headed.

Trash cans lined one side, shoved haphazardly against a ruddy brick wall. It wasn’t until she was past them that she heard the footsteps behind her.

Then her vision went black.

***

_Cosima shrugged her jacket on and slipped her bag over her shoulder as she leaned over the mattress to kiss Delphine, who was still comfortably beneath the sheets. She lingered on her lips, goodbye on the tip of her tongue._

_With a moment’s consideration, she instead whispered a dangerous phrase, voice so soft Delphine couldn’t be sure it had really been uttered._

_Delphine’s breath caught in her throat, and she watched with unblinking eyes as Cosima strode out the door, wide smile intact. The words echoed through her head, bouncing off of the walls of her skull. She couldn’t have known. Her heart grew heavy as a long exhale weighed it down. It was only when the door closed with a click behind Cosima that she closed her eyes and allowed her tears to slide down the bridge of her nose. She mouthed her response, syllables supported only by the slightest puff of air._

_“I love you too.”_


	6. Heart-Shaped Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I snuck a thing into this chapter. If you figure it out, let me know.

Cosima blinked rapidly as a harsh light broke its way through the veil of her eyelids. Her head pounded. As she rubbed her temples, she wished she could just go back to sleep. She screwed her eyes shut as tightly as she could; opening them even a crack caused her pain. The throbbing inside her skull was unbelievable. Her hands grasped at her head. Cosima wondered what she could possibly have gotten up to that would have caused this maelstrom of a hangover.

 

She curled further into herself until memories rushed into her brain and she sat straight up with a gasp.

 

Her eyes flew open, and she took in her surroundings as her eyes adjusted painfully. She sat on the floor in what at first appeared to be an infinite stretch of white emptiness. When her sight returned to its normal resolution, she realized that it was a small room. Its walls, floor, and ceiling were all white; they seemed to be tiled, each immaculate square illuminated by an unknown source of light.

 

Cosima’s arms flew out to brace herself against the walls of the corner she’d backed into. Her breathing became labored when she realized that the wall to her right was in fact not made of the same tiles as the rest, but rather of a large sheet of what looked like glass. She looked harder at the clear pane and noticed the sharp glare a light from outside cast onto it. Realization hit her hard in the chest, and tears borne of fear and panic stung her eyes. She was sitting in a ball on the floor of a cell.

 

She was trapped in a cage.

 

Cosima glanced down at herself and was relieved to find that she was still wearing clothes, though her feet were bare. The relief slipped away as soon as it had come, however, because the clothes that covered her body were not her own.

 

She stood carefully and regarded her new attire. She was clad in all gray, simple sweatpants and a crew neck sweatshirt that made her feel as if she should have been running up the steps to town hall and throwing a fist in the air. She shook the thought from her mind. If there was ever a time _not_ to feel like Rocky, it was then.  

 

Her legs were shaky, weak, as if she hadn’t used them in some time. How long had she been out? There was no way for her to tell.

 

She tried to breathe deeply. She inhaled slowly, expecting to get a noseful of that familiar chemical, sterile smell that was the trademark of every scientific facility she’d ever worked in. What she smelled instead was subtler, faint enough that it was hardly there at all. It was familiar, but she wasn’t sure where she knew it from. The coffee shop, maybe.

 

Her instincts were falling all over themselves, firing off insane demands that she throw herself against the walls, that she let herself wallow on the ground, that she scream, that she kick her way through the glass and make a run for it.

 

She balled her hands into fists and grounded herself. She had to get her bearings. She had to figure out what the hell happened to her.

 

Cosima closed her eyes again and detached herself from the situation. She looked at it with her scientist-eyes, rather than her regular-person-eyes. After a moment, she rolled her sleeves up and examined the creases at the joints in her arms. The little spot on her left arm confirmed her first suspicion: someone had put a needle in her arm. Whether it was to draw blood out or pump something in, she couldn’t be sure. It was probably a little of both. They must have given her some kind of sedative to keep her unconscious. Whoever “they” was.

 

She licked her lips and stepped cautiously toward the glass. What she could see of the hallway was composed of the same white tile that made up the inside of her little room. She leaned forward, tried to make her gaze as parallel to the glass as she could in order to see further to the side what lay beyond the section of the hall that she could see. When she pressed her fingertips against the glass, she heard a loud _zap_ and jumped back as her hand was jolted by an electric shock.

 

She gaped at the pads of her fingers as they flushed a light pink where they’d been in contact with the transparent barrier. “What the fu-”

 

“Hey, look who’s awake!”

 

Cosima jumped again as a woman in a lab coat came into view on the other side of the glass. The woman flashed her a smile as she pulled a cart, covered in various medical supplies, up next to her.

 

Cosima, a little perturbed by the woman’s chipper attitude, hugged herself around the middle. The woman, who had pulled a sterilizing alcohol swab and a tourniquet out of the cart, noticed the action and stopped her rifling through the contents of her trolley and faced Cosima with a sympathetic expression.

 

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m just going to draw some blood, okay?” Her hair, which was cut short in a pixie cut, bounced as she nodded her head.

 

Cosima pulled the sleeves of her sweatshirt down over her hands and clutched them tightly. “Um, not okay.” She regarded the woman warily. A nametag was clipped to the pocket in her labcoat, and Cosima leaned forward to get a better look at it. “Listen… M-”

 

“Oh, you can call me Dr. C. Everybody else does.”

 

Cosima stared at her incredulously. “Doc, I don’t really care what everybody calls you. I don’t know who you are. I don’t even know where the hell I am or what the hell is going on. I woke up two minutes ago in a _cell_. You’re not getting anywhere near my blood.”

 

Dr. C. sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m sure this must all be very disorienting.”

 

Cosima actually found herself barking a laugh at that one. “Yeah, that’d be putting it in the lightest terms you possibly could.”

 

“I get it. You’re alarmed. It’s perfectly understandab-”

 

“I’m beyond alarmed! I’m-I’m _pissed_!”

 

Dr. C. set the swab and tourniquet carefully onto a metallic tray she had placed on the top of the cart. With a small step forward, she clasped her hands and lowered her voice. “Look, I’m really sorry that you’re stuck in there, but I’m just an employee here. In all honesty, I don’t like it any more than you do.” She shrugged and her nose twitched a little. “I need this job. There’s nothing I can do but take your blood and run the tests.”

 

Cosima bit the inside of her cheek. “What exactly are you people doing to me in these _tests_? Am I some kind of lab rat for new pharmaceuticals or something?”

 

“Oh, no, we aren’t doing anything _to_ you! Not in that sense. It’s more of a take-samples-and-see-what-they-tell-us-about-you kind of operation.”

 

Cosima crossed her arms and adjusted her stance. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen anymore. See, I know someone in law enforcement, and I can confidently say that kidnapping and performing medical procedures on someone without consent constitutes a whole slew of ethical violations. When the police get word of the shit you’ve got going on in here, you’ll be shut down faster than that kid who tried to kiss Molly Ringwald in ‘Sixteen Candles’.”

 

She saw Dr. C. take a breath and spoke again before the woman in the white coat could get a word in.

 

“What do you want to know about me, anyway? What is it that you’re looking for in my blood, huh?”

 

“I’m not at liberty to say-”

 

Cosima let out a short scream and punched the glass. She hardly winced when the electricity burned the side of her fist.

 

Dr. C. considered Cosima. “Ms. Niehaus, I’m afraid you’re very unaware of the way things work around here. You do not possess any authority within this facility. When you are eventually released, which you will be, don’t worry, you will have no desire to take any action that would harmfully affect the organization.” She turned back to the cart and picked her supplies up again. “Now, either you’re going to cooperate and let me do my job, or I’ll have to call in someone from security standby to restrain you, in which case you’ll be given another sedative and you’ll sleep for another several days. None of us want that.”

 

Cosima swallowed thickly. The weight of the situation she found herself in felt as though it was crushing her chest. Her powerlessness hit her with the force of a cannonball.

 

Dr. C. then looked at her pointedly. “Now, are you going to let me take your blood without a fuss?” When Cosima bit her lips together and nodded slowly, the doctor grabbed her nametag, which extended from its clip on a bungee string, and swiped it through what Cosima assumed must have been a keypad. She punched in a code, and the glass door slid open with a hiss.

 

When Dr. C. entered the cell and went about drawing Cosima’s blood, she uttered the phrase that she would come to repeat every time she was ordered to take samples from Cosima in the following weeks.

 

“I’m sorry. I just work here.”

 

***

 

Cosima was in the cell two weeks when she noticed a slight tickle in her throat.

 

***

 

She was in the cell three and a half weeks when her breaths began to rattle her chest.

 

***

  
She was in the cell four weeks when she started coughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you got some season 4 Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibes here, that is where the inspiration came from.


	7. Welcome Home

Cosima grew accustomed to the routine quickly. The facilities in which she was kept followed a strict schedule.

Every morning, the lights in the cells were turned on at promptly 7:00 am. She had no clock or view of the sunlight to judge the time by, but after a while, Dr. C. took pity on her. She gave in and answered Cosima’s questions when they didn’t call for classified information.

At 7:30, an orderly would come by and drop off her breakfast. It came in the form of a “smoothie” that was scientifically concocted to be a nutritiously balanced meal.

For the rest of the morning, they left her alone to pace a square path around the inside of her cell. The thick socks on her feet slipped on the tile just a little bit every time she took a step.

At 12:30, she was brought her midday meal, which was immediately followed by a visit from Dr. C. to draw her blood.

It didn’t take long for Cosima to come to the conclusion that she was in the hands of the people who were, in all likelihood, her creators. There was no other reason she could think of that would cause a lab facility such as this to kidnap her and hold her hostage.

What she couldn’t figure out was why they’d felt the need to lock her up. Was it because she’d become self-aware? Did they know that she knew about the others?

Cosima hunched over as a bout of coughing took hold of her body. Her lungs rattled as she gasped in a few hard breaths. Whatever this illness was that she had, it was only getting worse. She sat against the back wall with her knees pulled up to her chest and, with effort, regulated her breathing a bit.

Maybe that was the reason they’d taken her. Maybe they knew she was getting sick and just wanted to help her.

She cast her eyes down, unable to believe in her own optimism.

She coughed again, into her sleeve. When she pulled her arm away from her face, there was dark red stain.

***

It was mid-afternoon when he came to meet her. He pulled a fold-out chair up just in front of the glass and sat for several minutes, just looking at her.

When he finally did speak to her, he did so as if they were meeting under the most pleasant of circumstances. He leaned forward in his chair and surveyed her with an unnerving gaze. His voice was odd to listen to; it was as if he was talking normally, but the volume had been turned down. Like there was a filter somewhere between his vocal chords and his mouth that blocked its full power.

“Hello, Cosima. I can’t tell what a pleasure it is to finally make your acquaintance.”

Cosima took a step further into the back of her little room and crossed her arms tightly over her chest. She made no indication that she planned to respond.

He didn’t appear to be bothered by her silence. “You know, it is truly fascinating to see you in person. I’ve heard so much about you, but of course, words rarely capture the essence.”

Cosima’s arms dropped to her sides as her hands curled into fists. “Those are some pretty words for a guy who could be facing serious kidnapping charges if I ever get out of this cell.” She struggled to put as much animosity behind her voice as she could, but even as she spoke, she knew that her tone was weak and her threat empty.

The practiced grin that hovered over his lips widened a bit at her spite. He sat back in his chair and crossed his ankle over his knee. “You’ve got spunk, that’s good.” He paused, and Cosima’s eyes narrowed at the mirth evident on his face at the silence’s pregnancy.

Cosima huffed and took a few steps forward. Giving in to his ploy to get a reaction from her, she approached the glass. She leaned as close to it as she could without getting herself electrified and said with a grunt, “What exactly is it you want from me?”

He breathed an ugly chuckle and rested his chin on his fist. “You don’t beat around the bush; that's another good quality to have around here. I think we’ll work well together.”

Cosima's eyebrows flew up in surprise. “Work together? What the fuck are you talking about?”

He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward as he spoke. He seemed to speak with intention, as if he was reading from a script. “We believe that you have a unique and… valuable perspective on the projects and work that we do here.”

Cosima crossed her arms and stepped back from the glass. “What work would that be?”

“Dear Cosima. I think we both know you’re more astute than that.”

“Fine. But you've got to answer a few questions for me." He cocked his head, and she continued. "You know who I am. How?”

He stood and clasped his hands behind his back. “You’re trying to ascertain whether or not we know that you’re a clone. The answer is, obviously, an unequivocal yes.”

Cosima was taken aback at his bluntness. “What do you want with me?”

“Your help.” He raised his hands as if he were asking an old friend to help him move some furniture.

“I don’t mean to be rude," she spat in return, "but it seems to me like you’ve got a pretty good handle on whatever the hell you’re trying to do here. What do you need me for?”

He shrugged, and his mouth twitched. “Oh, it’s simple, really. We just need you to help us get in touch with your sisters.”

Cosima couldn’t contain her sneer. “I’m an only child.”

His eyes sparkled unnervingly. “Of course. I mean to say, your genetic identicals. Your clones.”

A chuckle forced its way from her lungs. “You want me to just hand them over to you? Are you kidding? I don’t care if I’m stuck in here the rest of my life, I’m not going to help you kidnap more people. Especially not my friends.”

Cosima fell into a coughing fit. She covered her mouth with her hand and stared for a moment at the dots of red that were left on her fist when the hacking in her chest subsided.

He looked on with an expression resembling satisfaction. After a moment, Cosima wiped the blood off of her hand onto her sweatpants. His eyes only twinkled further as he said, “I think you’ll find we can offer you an incentive.”

Cosima glared at him through the glass. Her frustration and desperation and fear were biting at her eyes in the form of tears. Her nails bit into her palms where her fists tightened. She cleared her throat. “And, just to clarify, ‘we’ is… who?”

He slid his hands into his pockets and gave her a grin that made her want to crawl out of her skin.

“Come now, Cosima. You don’t need me to answer that for you.”

_DYAD_. The word flashed through her brain without warrant.

He glanced at a watch on his wrist. “All you need to know is this: we know your illness well. If you

cooperate, we can help you.” He folded up the chair he’d been sitting in and began to walk back down the hall.

Cosima, her voice struggling for freedom from the thickness in her throat, called out to him, “Wait! I never caught your name.”

 **  
**He turned to look at her over his shoulder. “I’m Dr. Leekie. I’m sure you’ve heard about me from your friend Delphine.”


	8. It Helps to Vent

Restless. That was the word for it.

Cosima clenched and unclenched her fists as she took up her usual route pacing around the inside of her cell. She passed under a small air vent and felt the slightest of drafts drift over the back of her neck. She shivered and shrugged into her sweatshirt. She breathed heavily through her nose as her feet carried her around and around over the fluorescent white tile. She could just pick up a scent in the air that had a sweet tone to it, but it was too light for her to place.

The tension in her body had been building for hours. Leekie’s words echoed in her head, pounding against the walls of her skull.

Eventually, Dr. C. finally stopped by during her morning rounds, all bright eyes and rosy cheeks. By that time, Cosima was ready to burst with all of the things that were, inch by inch, driving her up the wall.

Dr. C. slid her ID card through the slot in the keypad outside of Cosima’s cell and stepped through the sliding glass door. The card swung lightly against the pristine white pocket of her lab coat. She glanced at Cosima with a tired half smile. “Pull up your sleeve for me, please.”

Cosima rolled her eyes and sighed, but she complied. “Yeah, yeah. I know the drill.” Cosima pushed her sweatshirt up past her elbow and thrust her arm at her. Dr. C. raised a half amused eyebrow as she pulled a pair of periwinkle latex gloves from her lab coat and snapped them on over her wrists.

Cosima allowed the doctor’s hands to grasp her arm and pull a tourniquet tight around her bicep. Dr. C. hummed quietly as she went about her work, and Cosima almost immediately zoned out of the moment.

She was jerked back into reality when the junction between her upper arm and forearm was stabbed by Dr. C.’s needle. The action was severely lacking in the doc’s usual, gentle finesce.

Cosima must have shown some outward sign that the needle had caused her pain, for Dr. C. granted her an apologetic twitch of the lips. “Sorry about that. They've got us working overtime on some new project; everyone's a little off their game this week."

Cosima, too tense to humor her mistake, snatched her arm back and shoved her sleeve back down. Dr. C. cast her eyes downward and stepped back out of the cell. As the door slid shut again, Cosima jogged up to the glass, struggling to hide her glower. She called out, “Could you talk to someone about turning off the air conditioner or whatever? The draft in here is driving me crazy.”

Dr. C., whose short hair bounced as she turned bck to face Cosima, considered for a moment. She chewed the inside of her cheek, thinking, then nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”

***

Cosima had returned to her usual curled-up sitting position when she heard the flow of cool air from the vent come to a stop. She hadn't realized there had been a consistent, low buzzing that had accompanied the airflow. She groaned a complaining, “Finally,” before she could stop herself.

A short moment later, she heard a muffled voice. “... Cosima?”

At the sound, she jumped up and placed a hand on the wall to steady herself when her vision was briefly taken over by a film of exploding dots. She tried to take a deep breath, which triggered a short but violent series of coughs.

Still reeling slightly from the shock, when her throat once again allowed air to pass into her lungs, Cosima breathed heavily through her nose. She stepped into the middle of the cell and glanced momentarily at the glass door, knowing that there was no one just beyond to speak to her. She peered around at the luminescent walls, unable to identify where the voice had come from. It didn’t seem possible. Cosima wondered if perhaps she had imagined the voice. She coughed once more and wiped her hand on the side of her pants, leaving a streaked, rust colored stain.

After a few moments, her gaze came to rest again on the air vent, and she cautiously crossed to that side of the small room and pressed herself lightly against the wall.

Hardly daring to speak aloud, Cosima licked her lips and managed, with effort, to say, “Delphine?”

She held her breath as she waited for a response; the silence that followed seemed to last a lifetime. The air in her lungs was released in a puff that wound up being more of a sob when the reply came at last.

“Yes, it’s me,” Delphine’s voice came through the vent sounding breathy. “Are… are you alright?”

An unexpected tear made an escape from Cosima’s eye, and she wiped it harshly from her cheek. Now was not the time for crying. Emotions left little room for logic.

Her lungs erupted into another burst of coughing, though fortunately this time, all that came up was air.

Just as she couldn’t suppress the coughs, Cosima also couldn’t smother the bitter chuckle that forced its way from her mouth. “Yeah, I’ve, uh… I’ve been better.” After a second of hoping for a deflated comment from Delphine, she thought better of it and added, “Why are you even asking? Shouldn’t you know? Aren’t you the one who put me in here? Weren’t you planning this all along?”

She surprised herself when her voice cracked.

When Delphine finally spoke again, tears were evident in her voice as well. “No! No, I didn’t… I never meant…” She audibly cleared her throat and tried again. “I never meant for any of this to happen. Dr. Leekie, he came to me. He said you were in danger. I wanted to help you. It was nonsensical, I know, but it was… I was just beginning to think that I…” Cosima heard a sniff. “I never, ever meant to hurt you, Cosima.”

Several more tears fell from Cosima’s eyes. She slid slowly down the wall until she was awkwardly seated against it. She gripped her knees as her chest caved in on her heart. She felt as if the weight of her world was causing her body to collapse around her.

Her voice was miraculously steady given the shakiness of her breaths. She could taste the tears that seeped between her lips as she spoke. “How can I possibly believe that, Delphine?”

The answer came without hesitation, only slightly deadened by the air vent they communicated through. “It’s not a lie, it’s not possible! The day I met you I was just another student, just another girl trying to learn and become something. Everything we had together, that was real.”

Cosima squeezed her eyes shut, but the hot saltwater slid from beneath her eyelids regardless.

Delphine continued, and Cosima could hear in her voice a certain gratitude that Cosima hadn’t yelled at her or told her to stop. “Leekie came to me and offered me all of these things. He took me to the facilities, and it was all science and innovation, and I was seduced by it all. I let myself be… _merde_ … I let myself get sucked in, I didn’t ask questions. I… I didn’t know what they wanted me to do until I was already too deep in it. I never, never lied to you on purpose.”

Cosima dug the heels of her palms into her forehead.

She could hear Delphine choking on her own words. “I am so sorry.”

Cosima was silent for a long while. She sat still. Too many words dangled on the tip of her tongue. They jostled and shoved each other, each as eager as the next to be the first out of her mouth. She couldn't decide on the right thing to say, so she said nothing.

She didn't know how long they sat like that. There was no way to know the time until Dr. C. returned to deliver her evening meal.

She was on the verge of dozing off in her uncomfortable, balled up position, when the obvious dawned on her.

She placed her hand on the wall and watched it as if she could see Delphine on the other side. Despite the lapse in which they'd both ceased to form words, she knew Delphine was listening.

 **  
**“They locked you up, too.”


	9. Good Intentions

Cosima and Delphine leaned against opposite sides of the wall that separated their cells and talked through the hollow metal vent that connected them.

Cosima’s chest felt concave as she placed a hand over her shuddering lungs. Her mind seemed to slow to a crawl as she processed all of the information she’d been faced with.

Delphine was responsible for her kidnapping - at least partially so. That much she knew. But Delphine had also been locked up by the very people she’d betrayed Cosima to. Cosima didn’t know what to think about that. For all of the things that made distrusting Delphine the most reasonable choice, there was something still drew her in. Something that, despite her better judgement, kept Cosima craving her; something that, even locked away in a cell, allowed Cosim to feel safer knowing that Delphine was nearby.

Her brain throbbed. Trust mingled in her heart with suspicion.

Cosima cleared her throat and tasted iron. She suppressed a full-body cough long enough to verbalize a question she hoped might clear some of the murkiness in her mind.

“So, can you just, like… tell me what happened?”

***

_Delphine had been entranced by the science. That was the only word for it, “entranced”. She was, admittedly, an excitable person to begin with, but the opportunities that were dangled before her were more than she could have imagined._

__

_Her first tour of the DYAD facilities was like a dream. Everything was bright and shiny and scientific. To the point that she began temporarily thinking in romanticized clichés._

__

_She followed Dr. Leekie through the fluorescent hallways over polished floors, eyes even wider than usual. Her head swung emphatically side to side as she strained to take as much of it in as she possibly could. They passed through a lab, and Delphine positively gleamed with joy at the sight of the pristine test tubes, microscopes, and centrifuges. She felt her hand physically twitched as she yearned for a peek at the research being done. There were cultures growing in petri dishes, blood samples being tested. She felt light headed over all of the incredible work she would be able to do with this corporation._

__

_As they strode around the expanses of the buildings, Dr. Leekie (Aldous, he’d told her with a wink to call him Aldous) told her of DYAD’s plan to expand their immunology and disease prevention departments, which suited Delphine perfectly. It was as if they’d catered their funding specifically to Delphine’s professional passions._

__

_Delphine was ready to sign a contract and begin work by the time Dr. Leekie brought her back around to the institute’s main entrance and notified her that they had reached the end of the tour. When she told him of her eagerness, Dr. Leekie gave a gruff chuckle, the wrinkles around his eyes scrunching to show his age, and waved her off. He told her to take a few days, to “Make sure you’re ready to commit to the project.”_

__

_Delphine figured she had nothing to think about._

__

***

“I swear, Cosima, I was only interested in the offer because the scientific opportunities were so _merveilleux_. Your name never even came up until weeks after I had signed my contract.”

***

_“So,” Dr. Leekie’s gravelly voice found Delphine’s ears with a tone of interest, “I understand you’re in a relationship with a young woman by the name of… Niehaus.”_

__

_Delphine lifter her head from the intensive notes she’d been taking on the bacteria under her microscope. She didn’t recall ever discussing her personal life with anyone at work, let alone divulging details of her relationship and especially not to her boss. “Um, how did you…?”_

__

_Dr. Leekie’s thin lips all but disappeared as they stretched into a strange sort of grin. One of his spindly hands squeezed her shoulder, and she forced her lips into a small returning smile. Her breath tumbled from her mouth in a pseudo-laugh when he jokingly assured her, “Oh, don’t worry, our background checks here are just very… thorough.”_

__

_He didn’t continue, so, unsure of how to answer, Delphine gave him a half hearted nod and attempted to be as conspicuous as possible when she turned back to her work._

__

_He didn’t appear to catch the signal._

__

_He was still there, perched on the edge of her lab counter, when Delphine lifted her gaze from her microscope once again. She glanced around the lab, but all of the other occupants were hunched deliberately over their respective stations. She tapped her pen twice on the table and then tucked it neatly behind her ear. “I’m sorry, Dr. Leekie, was there something specific you wanted to talk to me about?”_

__

_He shifted on her desk. The look he gave her was uncomfortably serious. “Yes, actually. We believe that your… significant other… qualifies for a, uh, clinical trial we’ll be conducting shortly. It’s a somewhat… sensitive situation, which is why we need your help.”_

__

_Delphine’s eyebrows pushed together in an evaluating expression. “I… I’m not sure that I am understanding what you’re asking of me.”_

__

_Dr. Leekie folded his hands on his lap and tilted his head as if he was trying to explain something simple to a small child. “All of the… legalities… are already taken care of. We just feel that, based on past experience, some subjects are not always the most willing right away, and it takes a bit of convincing to get their cooperation.” He paused, as if to gather his thoughts. “In this particular case, we believe that there will be difficulty getting Cosima to volunteer for treatment, because she won’t have… recognized any symptoms of the illness we hope to cure her of.”_

__

_Delphine leaned back in her chair. She knew when she signed on to be a part of the DYAD team that some of their methods were a bit unorthodox, but the vibes she was getting from the tone of this proposal were causing her to hesitate._

__

_As if hearing her thoughts, Dr. Leekie leaned in close to Delphine’s face and uttered with intimidating finality, “I’ll ask you to remember, Dr. Cormier, that you signed a contract.”_

__

_Delphine’s mouth dropped open just slightly._

__

_Dr. Leekie sat up straight again, replacing the smile on his face and raising his hands non-threateningly. “Our main goal here, Delphine, is to help people. Ms. Niehaus is one of those people. What I need you to understand is that she will be needing that help. I can guarantee you that.”_

__

***

Delphine sniffed audibly, and Cosima felt her heart constrict in response.

“I swear to you, Cosima, I promise with all of my heart, that I only ever tried to do what was right. Dr. Leekie, he can be so very persuasive. I thought that they meant to help you. It wasn’t until they had already taken you here that I learned you were not sick.”

Cosima couldn’t stop the incredulous laugh that forced its way from her body. It flowed seamlessly into a new bout of coughing that sprayed the white tiles in front of her with red speckles. “I’m not sure if you’ve been listening to all of the totally gnarly coughing I’ve been doing, but I think it’s probably pretty safe to say I’m sick.”

Delphine sniffed again, louder this time, and Cosima frowned as she wiped some of the red from her mouth.

“No, _chérie_ , that is not what I mean. You are sick now, I know, but you were not when you got here. They did this to you to gain leverage against you. They put me away as well when I made an attempt to stop them.”

Cosima felt the tears welling in her eyes. She couldn’t find the words to express the things she felt. She tried to croak out a reply, but no noise made its way from her lips.

Delphine spoke again, her voice thick and watery, and the weight of her words electrified Cosima as much as they had the first time.

“ _Je t’aime_ , Cosima. I love you.”

Delphine’s voice echoed as the phrase rolled around the confines of both of their cells.

Cosima whispered inaudibly, but the words were tangible enough in her mouth that there was no doubt she’d said them.

 **  
**“I love you too.”


	10. When Life Gives You Lemons

Dr. C. rubbed at her bleary eyes with the thumb and forefinger of one hand. Her clipboard was cradled in the grasp of the other, as she strode down the spotless white hallway. The billowy trail of her lab coat swished around her legs with each step, and her sharp-toed uniform shoes click-clacked over the luminescent tile. Her mouth opened wide in a yawn, and she made a mental note to have a second coffee after she made her rounds.

The familiar scent of rubbing alcohol and cleaning product pushed itself into her nostrils.

She glanced at her reflection in the glass of the empty cells she passed as she strode along. The white drape of her coat and the translucent image of her face under the harsh lighting gave her a ghost-like appearance.

She cast her eyes downward at that thought. Despite her limited knowledge of the history of the corporation she served, she knew the halls she paced were not free of death. She had walked in on enough hushed conversations held behind half-closed doors to know that the institution's reputation for deception ran far deeper than outsiders might guess. There were times when she found herself wondering what was uttered in those hurried whispers, what information was so secret it needed hiding, even within DYAD’s own facilities. She shook her head under the guise of shaking her bangs off of her forehead. She knew better than to dwell on such things.

She rubbed a hand over her face and took a moment to compose herself.

By the time she reached the cell of her only real subject, Dr. C.’s usual good-morning-grin was set in its place across her cheeks. It fell as quickly as it had been forced onto her face when her eyes met with a body sprawled in such a manner that did not align with mere sleep.

She scrambled to pull her ID tag from the clip on her pocket and swipe it over the keypad next to the door. The thin bungee cord to which it was attached stretched then snapped back to its un-taut place at her hip. She winced as it connected with her skin with a thwack.

When she tried again, the door opened sideways, hissing as it disappeared into the wall. Dr. C. rushed inside and knelt beside Cosima, who lay with her legs flung at odd angles and her shoulders curled in around herself. Dr. C. noticed distractedly that her hands trembled as they rose with uncertainty over Cosima’s head. She hesitated, then dropped them back to the floor.

Dr. C. leaned over her and held her ear over Cosima’s mouth. She sighed and physically relaxed when she heard the faint huff and puff of breathing. Speaking mostly to herself, she muttered, “Can’t do that to me, man. I thought you’d quit on me.”

Cosima’s eyes flew open.

Dr. C. gasped and fell backward.

“Sorry ‘bout that. Totally my bad.”

Before Dr. C. could think to move, Cosima snatched the ID tag from its place at the good doctor’s side. Her dreadlocks flew behind her as she sprung to her feet. She dashed through the doorway and jabbed at buttons on the keypad until she spotted the big one labeled “Door: Open/Close”. She rolled her eyes at herself for missing it at first.

She took a fraction of a moment to cough into her elbow, taking care to subdue its severity so as not to hack up blood.

Dr. C. gaped at her as the glass door slid shut, locking her in. Cosima halted for half a second to shoot her an apologetic shrug. She held the intercom button on the keypad. “Nothing personal, Doc.”

She turned away before she could see the doctor’s nod of resignation.

Cosima flew to the cell next door, where Delphine was curled in a similar state of faux-sleep. After a couple of tries, Cosima successfully swiped the stolen ID card and punched the button to open the door. Delphine looked up immediately as the glass pane gave a soft shush and jumped to her feet. Her eyes were wider than Cosima had ever seen them. Cosima's chest tightened. She was overwhelmed just seeing Delphine at all after being cooped up for so long in her own cell.

Delphine stepped cautiously through the doorway and glanced around the hallway. Her voice evidenced her disbelief when she mumbled, “ _Mon dieux_. It really worked.”

Before she knew what she was doing, Cosima’s arms were around Delphine, her face buried in the space just below her shoulder. She breathed deeply, inhaled that mildly sweet Delphine-smell. Her mouth was pressed into Delphine’s chest, so her words were muffled when she spoke with a half-relieved chuckle. “Wasn’t hard. The doc didn’t put up much of a fight.”

Delphine let out a short, watery laugh as they disengaged from their embrace. She slipped her hand into Cosima’s and traced a finger along her jawline.

“Let’s go.”

***

Finding lab coats to wear as they made their way through DYAD’s halls was surprisingly easy. Delphine and Cosima both worried that the latter’s distinctive hair style might give them away, but they encountered next to no one. The merciful few they did pass, their hearts palpitating in their chests, had their heads bowed unwaveringly over clipboards and files. The two were not given a second glance.

Delphine strode half a pace in front of Cosima the whole way. She was vaguely familiar with the schematics of the facility and thus, took the lead, hand still wrapped up in Cosima’s.

She stopped them just short of a corner and turned to Cosima with an intense whisper. “ _D’accord_. The lab containing the synthesized illnesses, as well as their antidotes, should be right around this turn.”

Cosima nodded and swallowed. “How will we know which one to take?”

Delphine answered, voice hushed, as she poked her eyes around the bend to make sure the way was clear. “The vials should be marked with your tag number.”

Cosima frowned and leaned back a bit. “Tag number?”

“ _Oui_. 324B21.”

“Oh.”

At her deflated tone, Delphine whirled around to face Cosima with _I’m sorry_ written all over her face. She reached a hand up to brush her thumb over Cosima’s cheek. “Hey-”

Cosima waved her off even as she heaved a cough from her lungs. “No, it’s fine. It’s whatever. Let’s just get this thing and get gone.”

Hand-in-hand, they rounded the corner and jogged through the deserted hallway.

Cosima expertly swiped the ID card, and Delphine pushed the door to the lab open and lead the way inside. She went immediately to far wall, which was lined with built-in refrigerators, each filled with shelves of vials.

Cosima hung back. She was anxious in there, more so than she had been in the halls. This was the room where the threat on her life was born.

Delphine searched through the rows of vials, thumbing along the labels, seeking the one that would bring Cosima’s suffering to an end.

Cosima glanced uncomfortably around the room until her eyes fell on a whiteboard in the corner. Her own face stared back at her. Her passport photo, as well as three near-identical others, was taped to the glossy, clean surface. Listed below her picture was her date and place of birth, height, weight, and the phrase “under treatment”. Upon closer inspection, she discovered that the three others hailed from various European capitals. A chill made its way down her spine when she realized that hers was the only name listed without a date of death.

“Ah!” Cosima whipped around when Delphine emitted a short cry of victory and held up the vial for her to see.

Cosima bounced back forth from her left foot to her right. “That’s the one?”

Delphine’s head bobbed up and down furiously. “Yes. Now let’s blow this lemonade stand!”

Cosima couldn’t help but chuckle as they ran from the room. “You mean ‘popsicle stand’.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

***

Delphine crept just ahead of Cosima through the halls, vial clutched tight in her hand. They’d entered the more populous area of the building’s wing, so their likelihood of being noticed was far greater. “Alright, unless I am mistaken, we will be able to get out through the door at the end of this hallway.”

One last deep breath each, and they were off, speed-walking with as much nonchalance as they could manage down the hall. The fluorescent exit sign that hung over the door loomed closer and closer, and Cosima finally let herself feel the excitement of their daring escape. It was real, the exit from this awful place was right there-

A door to their left flew open and a pair of security guards came bursting through it.

Cosima felt as though her chest was deflating. Delphine’s breath stopped altogether, and she froze where she stood. Cosima narrowly avoided walking right into her before she froze as well.

The guards didn’t seem to notice them. Delphine started to release a slow, calming breath, when one of the guards did a double-take. “Hey!”

They glanced at the guards, then at each other, and half a second later they were sprinting down what remained of the hall between them and the exit.

Delphine and Cosima slammed into the door at the same time and stumbled through it together.

The guards took a minute to react, but their strides were long, and the distance was closed fairly quickly. They were halfway down a back alley when the security guys caught up with them.

The strain was not doing Cosima’s lungs any favors; she began to lose her ability to stifle her urge to cough. Her throat burned. Delphine took Cosima’s wrist with her free hand and willed her onward. Blood pounded in her ears.

One of the guards, out of shape and gasping behind them, grabbed at Delphine’s free arm.

She tried to shake him off, but in doing so, lost her grip on the vial.

Delphine watched, horror-stricken, as the little glass container hit concrete. It shattered in what felt like slow motion. She stared at the twinkling glass shards and the liquid miracle that was then staining the blacktop.

The guards seemed unsure of how to proceed. In their moment of uncertainty, Delphine allowed her fury - frustration, devastation, disbelief over having come so close to curing Cosima and breaking away from DYAD for good - take over. In a shocking display of emotional and physical gall, Delphine curled her hand into a fist and punched the man whose fingers were still wrapped around her forearm. He was caught on the side of the head and thrown, stumbling backwards.

Cosima, Delphine, and the remaining security guard all stared down at the man who lay flat on his back, clutching at his head with his eyes shut and teeth bared in pain.

 **  
**By the time his companion helped him back to his feet, Cosima and Delphine had disappeared into the city.


End file.
